| How to Break the Cycle of Abuse | | | | accountable to it and responsible for it. When one |
| The number one essential step to breaking the | | | | is this way with oneself, it is easier to see the |
| cycle of abuse is surrendering responsibility for | | | | distinction between what's yours and what is not |
| your partner's battering behavior. That would | | | | yours-what belongs to another. |
| include both accountability for it, as well as | | | | Ultimately, what is discovered is that when you |
| responsibility to fix it. When one surrenders the | | | | are in someone else's business, you are not and |
| belief that it is their "Job" to fix it and that they | | | | cannot be in your own business. One might say, |
| have the wherewithal to fix it, a magical window | | | | you are out of your mind. There is a distinct |
| opens up. A window of possibilities opens up for | | | | experiential disconnect with oneself. This realization |
| the person and for the relationship. | | | | drives non-psychotic people to surrender |
| Now you might be wondering how do you get | | | | responsibility for that which is not theirs. And |
| someone to stop being responsible for someone | | | | alternatively invest in what is theirs. From here, |
| else's behavior. Good question. | | | | you are more alive, more whole, more at one |
| Surrendering Responsibility for Another's | | | | with yourself and more authentic with others. |
| Thoughts, Feelings and Behavior | | | | How Your Surrendering Responsibility for Battering |
| All right, now grab your cup of coffee and pull up | | | | Impacts the Relationship |
| a seat... We are going to get esoteric, philosophical | | | | If you're not assuming responsibility for another's |
| and down right psychological in this discussion. The | | | | behavior, doesn't that leave the other person to |
| way I facilitate surrendering responsibility is | | | | do so? Certainly. And if your partner doesn't |
| through a blend of humanistic, existential, | | | | assume responsibility for his/her behavior, that |
| experiential psychotherapy. This is therapy that is | | | | remains your partner's issue...not your issue. |
| "patient-centered," and that is of "existence as a | | | | This is not to say that their choice doesn't impact |
| whole," and "experiencing of psychological data in | | | | you, as it may very well do so. Key point is |
| the moment" as it lives in one's body. | | | | having the understanding that their choice is not |
| So for example, I facilitate your identification of | | | | about you! |
| what is yours, you come to own it...become | | | | |