| Mary was the office manager for a large
| |
| | of us find it easier to get motivated to
|
| construction company - and with her keen
| |
| | do something when we understand why it's
|
| eye for detail, she ran a tight ship.
| |
| | important for us to do it. Helping her
|
| She had the respect and loyalty of both
| |
| | to see the bigger picture in this way
|
| her employer and her staff - but when her
| |
| | will help a little.
|
| boss cajoled Mary into taking on his
| |
| | "It would also be beneficial if you could
|
| daughter Bianca for a university work
| |
| | organise a mini-appraisal with her. Ask
|
| placement, things rapidly began to slide
| |
| | her how she's enjoying the job and what
|
| downhill.
| |
| | would make it better from her
|
| Bianca was an only child and the apple of
| |
| | perspective. You could also get her to
|
| her father's eye. Mary felt that her
| |
| | think about how she's fitting in with the
|
| boss had a blinkered view of Bianca's
| |
| | rest of the team. You could also take
|
| abilities and privately, she felt that
| |
| | the opportunity to find out what her
|
| the young woman had a "Princess"
| |
| | career aspirations are - and give her
|
| attitude.
| |
| | some guidance as to the kind of
|
| Fed up with having to remind Bianca to
| |
| | behaviours she'll need to exhibit if
|
| follow office procedure - and aware that
| |
| | she's going to succeed."
|
| the others in her team were being
| |
| | Mary nodded slowly, seeing the sense in
|
| negatively affected by her airs and
| |
| | my suggestions. But I hadn't quite
|
| graces - Mary had turned to me for help.
| |
| | finished. I had an ace up my sleeve.
|
| Clearly Mary felt that she was in a
| |
| | I continued, "The key to successful
|
| no-win situation. Admitting that she'd
| |
| | communication is to reinforce the
|
| never have recruited Bianca in the first
| |
| | behaviours you want! When Bianca does
|
| place, she also knew that her boss
| |
| | something right, praise her. When she
|
| wouldn't take kindly to her complaints
| |
| | gets it wrong, make as little fuss as
|
| about his daughter. But she could also
| |
| | possible. As humans, we like to fit in
|
| see that she was rapidly beginning to
| |
| | and be praised - so subconsciously, we
|
| lose credibility with the rest of the
| |
| | choose to do more of what wins us praise
|
| team, who expected Mary to sort things
| |
| | and less of what doesn't. All the time
|
| out.
| |
| | that you're nagging at Bianca, she's
|
| I asked Mary what irritated her most
| |
| | ignoring what you're saying because it
|
| about Bianca. "Well," she replied, "she's
| |
| | doesn't feel good! Reinforce her positive
|
| lazy, she won't do the mundane tasks that
| |
| | behaviours and without realising why
|
| we all have to do and she seems to think
| |
| | she's doing it, you'll start to see her
|
| that we're lucky to have her. But I'm
| |
| | attitudes changing."
|
| sick and tired of having to nag her to do
| |
| | Mary promised to give it a go -
|
| simple tasks."
| |
| | recognising that perhaps she had little
|
| It was an educated guess, but I suspected
| |
| | other choice. But when we caught up for a
|
| that it was the nagging that was making a
| |
| | coffee and a chat a couple of months
|
| bad situation worse. "I can so understand
| |
| | later, she was almost evangelical!
|
| why you feel the need to remind her what
| |
| | "I could never have believed that I could
|
| needs to be done," I said, "but perhaps
| |
| | make so much difference in someone else,"
|
| she can't understand why you want her to
| |
| | Mary had told me. "While it felt
|
| do these tasks. And maybe she's pretty
| |
| | uncomfortable for me at first -
|
| thick skinned and has simply learned
| |
| | especially as I didn't feel that Bianca
|
| throughout her life that if she doesn't
| |
| | actually deserved any praise - I did my
|
| do something, in the end someone else
| |
| | best to focus on the behaviours I wanted
|
| will do it for her!"
| |
| | from her, rather than on those that I
|
| Mary looked cross. "Well, I hope you're
| |
| | didn't want. The results have been
|
| not going to start making excuses for
| |
| | almost miraculous. And I knew I'd got it
|
| her!"
| |
| | right when Bianca's father - my boss -
|
| "Certainly not," I replied. "But
| |
| | took me out for lunch week to thank me
|
| understanding what's going on is the
| |
| | for teaching his daughter how to be more
|
| first step. Now all we need do is find a
| |
| | professional at work.
|
| way to motivate her. For example, many
| |
| |
|
